We might have a baby in may

A birth mom has selected us to adopt her baby who is due in May. She had actually selected us in December, dropped us in January, and is now back with us. Please pray for her and for her baby boy who have been through a lot.

In case you are wondering, I’m not sure how this affects my plans to go to the DR Congo but if things progress with the adoption, I will not be going this year.

Jesus is Lord!

Psalm 68:4-6
Sing to God, sing in praise of his name, extol him who rides on the clouds rejoice before him—his name is the LORD. A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling. God sets the lonely in families, he leads out the prisoners with singing; but the rebellious live in a sun-scorched land.

Foster Care and Adoption: the first 6 weeks

Six weeks ago, Sarah and I got a call from our adoption specialist with a proposition. There were 2 kids that needed a place to stay immediately. Their staff had deliberated and had chosen us as a the family to offer this opportunity to. We had a few hours to pray, talk, and come to decision. In the end, we had to set aside any fear about what the future would look like and just make a call based on our immediate situation. Could we take 2 more kids into our home and take care of them? It was too hard to imagine all the possible scenarios, so we said yes knowing that we were not jumping blindly into an abyss, but we were merely sheep being led into paths of righteousness by the Good Shepherd.

The first week might not have been so difficult if 4 out of 6 people in the family didn’t catch a stomach flu. When Sarah’s sister, who was coming to visit that weekend, called to inform us that she had contracted bronchitis, we panicked. Leading 4 kids through the biggest transition of their lives thus far was hard enough with out projectile vomit and sleep deprivation. On the other hand, it might have been a little easier since there was usually one kid who was half awake on the couch for the day.

The second week, my mother flew up from Tennessee to rescue us. We needed an extra caregiver who could oversee the house work while we handled the parenting. Discipline was a issue from the start because we had to retool the whole way that we did it. We are more traditional in our philosophy on discipline, but we needed to learn more progressive methods in order to comply with the legal requirements of “co-parenting”. We watched a few episodes of “Super Nanny” taking notes and bought a few books with good tips. Mom spent 2 weeks with us helping us to get past the sickness and initial shock of how much our lifestyle had been altered. 4 kids is not impossible, but it’s not easy to add them 2 at a time and to have 3 toddlers in diapers.

We had a nice week after my Dad took Mom home. We were able to have a bit of “normal” routine: School, work, meals, playing, naps, baths, bedtime,  chores, errands. Then Sarah’s folks arrived for a visit. We gladly excepted more help. My father-in-law took on a few projects to get a few of our spaces organized in order to create a more toddler friendly environment in our main level. Today they are departing so we’ll be back to the routine.

In the last six weeks, we’ve been pushed to the limits of our patience, our strength, and our sanity. I’ve wept a lot. I’ve experienced the loss of the life we had before. It’s been a fun time being a daddy for these new kids, but it’s still a little terrifying to imagine how all this will play out. For now, we rely on the Spirit to fill us and produce good fruit in us.

This is what we signed up for

This past spring, my wife and I took classes to become licensed to adopt from the Missouri Children’s Division. We went in to it with the thought that we would be willing to take on a sibling group that was about the same age as our kids. So, when we got the call this past week from our adoption specialist that they needed a home for 2 kids, a 2 year old girl and a 1 year old boy, all we could say is, “This is what we signed up for.” Now, we have doubled the number of kids in the house as well as taken a leap back in development by taking in a 1 year old. When we got hit with the stomach flu mid-week, I had to call my mom for help. She flew up to stay with us for 2 weeks. We are getting the hang of things slowly, but being sick is not helping the situation.

Why would we do this? Do we have a disposition for lots of kids? Do we have a Messianic need to become martyrs for some cause? Are we insane?

For me the first step was a conviction that if I see that I can do good and fail to step up, I am sinning. I knew that adoption and foster care is a serious need in our community, and I felt convicted that if I didn’t at least explore if adoption was possible for us then I would be serving my own idols of comfort and security. Later, I heard a presentation on the sex trafficking industry in our country and internationally and I felt a strong emotional shift. Hearing about how children are exploited and abused, I felt that I had to do something, what ever was in my power, to stop this cycle. I knew that in our community, children were being sexually and physically abused by their own parents. If I could provide a safe home for them then I knew that it would be worth what ever I had to sacrifice to make it happen. When Sarah and I moved into the city of St Louis, we were blessed (through the failing housing market, and the persistent decay of St Louis) to be able to buy a home that was larger than I ever imagined possible. We knew that this blessing was not for us to indulge in our own comfort, but to open ourselves up to taking care of the lonely and fatherless.

So here we are. This is what we signed up for.

In the story of the Exodus, YHWH saved his people from slavery to the Egyptians. They cried out to be delivered, and their Redeemer brought them out of slavery. They were brought out of a place where all their needs were met, but they were no free to worship or free to be the blessing that was promised to their patriarchal ancestor, Abraham. So YHWH delivered them. He delivered them in to wilderness where they had to depend completely on the Lord to sustain them. Even to the point of miraculous water from a rock and bread from heaven. This is where Sarah and I are now. We asked the Lord to deliver us from slavery selfishness, materialism, and fear, and he brought us out. Now we are in a position of total dependence on the Lord to provide for us. We have seen him sustain us through the service, prayers, and encouragement of his body.

Blessed Are Those Who Mourn

I just got back from a family reunion. A good time was had by all. Ukuleles were strummed. Songs were sung. Card games broke out. It was a blast.

On Sunday, we had a worship service. My cousin, Dr. Matt Vos shared a talk that he gave at a Sociology conference a while back that was about mourning. If you knew my cousin, you would kind of chuckle at the idea of this guy talking about mourning because he’s a really funny guy who is constantly cracking jokes and cracking everybody up. He talk revealed a deep sense of mourning that he has over the brokenness in our world. As a Sociologist, he is constantly observing and criticizing the broken systems and patterns in the world. He shared in his talk that mourning is actually an act of faith. It’s an acknowledgment that things are not what they should be and that there is a God who is there to hear our cries. He shared the story of being in an eastern European orphanage and seeing the infants in their cribs eerily quiet; they didn’t cry because they had not been taught that their cries would be heard. Jesus said,

Blessed are those who mourn,
for they will be comforted.

Those who mourn acknowledge that God is good, His creation is broken, and He will hear our cries and respond to comfort. He has not left us as orphans, but He has called us sons and daughters.

A family reunion is a good time because it gives you a sense of who you are and where you came from. Total strangers embrace as if they are old friends because they are cousins, aunts, uncles, or even 2nd cousins. A bonus for our family is to see the adopted kids who have been grafted into the Ward tribe. They were once forgotten and neglected and now they are made into family. We had hoped to add to the party with an announcement that we had been selected to adopt, but it didn’t happen for us this time around. Still, we had fun knowing that we were loved, not only by a group of distant relatives, but also by the faithful Father who adopted us by sacrificing His only begotten Son.

Psalm 116:1-7
I love the LORD, for he heard my voice;
he heard my cry for mercy.

Because he turned his ear to me,
I will call on him as long as I live.

The cords of death entangled me,
the anguish of the grave came upon me;
I was overcome by trouble and sorrow.

Then I called on the name of the LORD :
“O LORD, save me!”

The LORD is gracious and righteous;
our God is full of compassion.

The LORD protects the simplehearted;
when I was in great need, he saved me.

Be at rest once more, O my soul,
for the LORD has been good to you.

He raises the poor from the dust

Who is like the LORD our God,
the One who sits enthroned on high,

who stoops down to look
on the heavens and the earth?

He raises the poor from the dust
and lifts the needy from the ash heap;

he seats them with princes,
with the princes of their people.

He settles the barren woman in her home
as a happy mother of children.
Praise the LORD.

Psalm 113:5-9

I’m praising the Lord today for his character. He is not like anyone or any ‘god’ ever conceived. He is not absent and  impotent like so many deadbeat dads. He’s not deaf to the cries of the poor or the barren. He is a Father who is ever-present and who works to maintain justice. I’m thankful for how He has chosen and blessed me to be a servant in His kingdom. He has saved me from my idolatry in order to do good works by faith in Christ, works that have been prepared for me to accomplish in advance. I’m thankful for how He’s given children to my friends who were barren. I am thankful for how He’s rescuing the needy from the ash heap to set them up with princes.

Praise the LORD.
Praise, O servants of the LORD,
praise the name of the LORD.

Let the name of the LORD be praised,
both now and forevermore.

From the rising of the sun to the place where it sets,
the name of the LORD is to be praised.

The LORD is exalted over all the nations,
his glory above the heavens.

Psalm 113:1-4

More on “White Culture – a subsidiary role in worship at NCF”

My cousin, Sam, (yep, “Sam Ward” is a recurring name in our family tree) is a worship music guy over in Fort Wayne, IN and has an excellent blog that you should all read called Worship360. Please refrain from writing comments about how weird it is that my family produces so many creative types and have a look at Sam’s questions and comments in response to the stuff I posted the other day.

Here’s a few of Sam’s thoughts and my responses. (Dude, this is what I love about blogs!)

“… the question was asked, “How can your church still be recognized as a Presbyterian church?” as if the only distinctive was the version of hymnal in the pews…”

For me this question in the interview seems so odd. Why do we care about being recognized as Presbyterian? Don’t we care more about being recognized by a family resemblance to our big brother, Jesus Christ? And isn’t racial segregation one of the major signs of hypocrisy that make people reject the church?

“…we are to sacrificially serve each other as Christ did in all areas including our music choices…the way this plays out in a specific congregation might change based on the cultural make-up of the congregation…”

It’s true that if your town is all “X” and no “Y” then it would be silly to try to incorporate “Y” style music into your service. But what’s God’s universal will in this situation. Sam had an excellent post on his blog a few weeks ago about the difference between God’s universal will vs. God’s individual will (universal will=care for orphans; individual will=adopt an orphan.) God’s universal will is that we are all called to break down walls, be reconciled, and love our neighbor (and our enemy). How that looks for individuals will change. We have a sister church in Kenya, New City Fellowship in Nairobi, whose mission is to see Africans and South Asians reconciled in a worshiping community. That’s a unique vision that applies in Nairobi but would be kind of weird to attempt in Springfield, USA. I believe that every church is called by God’s universal will to humbly and honestly look at themselves and decide if their music planning is intentionally building trust between diverse tribes of people or whether their music planning is just building up taller and thicker walls of division. Mercy, mercy mercy! We can only do this by grace.

“Through my adoption experience, I’m realizing how much we as Christians define ourselves based on physical characteristics. It also seems to me that Paul encourages the church to attempt to avoid those types of classifications such as Jew or Greek, slave or free. So while we are to serve each other sacrificially, are we continuing to define ourselves simply based on biology instead of the spirit who makes us one family?”

Sam, this is a profound statement. Reading through “Adopted For Life” I am growing in my own appreciation for how amazing the doctrine of adoption is for all of us. In fact, this is one of the strongest arguments for reconciliation. We are new creations in Jesus, a family by his grace! However, I don’t believe that our adoption creates a “color-blind” church. There’s a temptation to say that God doesn’t care about race. God made a beautifully diverse world that Revelation 7 shows us will be diverse even in the new heavens and new earth.